The Change in Me

So, I have to build a platform. The publishers need first time authors (though I have five books out) to have a platform. I was always thinking that if the work was good enough, it wouldn’t matter if I had a platform. I have been told by voices all over the industry it matters. Because of this I’ve started to focus on Twitter. In the first week I’ve gained 140 followers. I’m pretty happy about that. It’s been organic growth. I’ve had a few people ask me how I’m doing it. It’s simple. I’m connecting with people and being a genuine cheerleader.

What does that mean? It means that I read what people have to say. I absorb it. Discern what is important to them by what they’re saying and then respond in a supportive and positive manner. There’s so much negativity out there I figure I can be one voice jumping in there and being a lighthouse.

I can tell you my positivity toward these people is genuine. I know, because I used to be filled with hate. Hate for life. Hate for people. Hate for everything. On the edge of a breakdown. Why? There were many reasons. Family issues. Cancer. Lost everything in a fire. Relationship drama. Bullied as a child. PTSD. Etc. I balled it all up in my chest and was near exploding until some close people told me to get counseling. My hubris allowed me to think I was above it. I wasn’t. I’m not. I needed it. I needed it and my wonderful and caring counselor helped me to change my perspective and my life. I went from misanthrope to a man with hope. So, now, I am that guy. The one who is urging others to be happy instead of sad.

Am I happy every day. Fuck no. Some days my heart drops down into a dark pool and I feel like I’ll never come out. But, the tools I’ve been given to pull me from those dark places help me to crawl back out and into the light.

I am glad that I am in this place. I will continue to be that guy spreading positivity. I’d rather be irritating and spreading joy. If that helps people come to my ‘platform’ then it’s a great side-effect.